Category Archives: Inspirational

Poem: Gibraltar

Night out with the girls I just wanted to have fun
Never looking for what I found
But I reeled you in
With my
flirty talk
My sexy walk
yea you was
kinda nice …
tall, dark, handsome
combined with the perfect
mix of thug & intellect
Just my type of guy
offered me a ride home
cuz I was about 5 drinks passed drunk
Yet sober enough to know
that heaven had manifested
itself in you
Fast forward
1 year later
On bended knee
outside Baruch
You asked &
I said yes
never knowing the lessons
in love & life you would eventually teach me
Really living our vows
like in sickness & in health
Impregnating me with hope
when that cancer crept up
though never giving up
knowing u were way
too young to die
So instead,
you schooled me like teacher
& showed me what a real fighter was
10 years later
You’re still the champion
Pillared columns tall
Herculean strong
We are GIBRALTAR
rock hard steady
Cuz can’t nobody hold you down baby,
like you hold me when shit gets real
Loving me
Like song
Like verse
Like lyric
Like note
Like…
Losing my religion
Loving me
Like bible
Like Koran
Like Jesus
Like Allah
Like Islamic radical
Loving me
Like salvation
Like a breath of fresh air
Like light
Like brand new
Loving me…
when I couldn’t
even love myself
But you did
Because
you took your time
to study me
even when I was
CPA exam difficult,
like acquisitions and mergers
Realizing that you didn’t
want to conquer me
but instead stand side by side
like the number 11 with me
Shine like the sun in August with me
Walk on the beach
Make mental love on
another plane with me
Take over the world and
travel the road less taken with me.
And all along always showing me that
THIS is how love is supposed to be. 
 

©2011 All Rights Reserved Nancy Arroyo Ruffin

La Grifa~

Me llaman la grifa~

niña linda,

pelo malo~

because

it wouldn’t obey

untamable beast

told to relax

as the lie (lye) concoction

burned the kink out of my hair

erasing temporarily the part

of me that I hated the most.

Genetically made up to be wild

not to be tamed

or managed

or straightened

or subdued

or laid flatly with

no body or bounce

No…that

could never be me.

For …

I am too relentless

to conform

to transform

to be altered

into something

that I wasn’t really destined

to be.

 

Originally published 4/04/11 in honor of National Poetry Month

Embrace Your Inner Goddess

In January of this year in the home of a friend (who I originally met on Facebook, yes Facebook) I attended a spiritual retreat that absolutely changed the direction of my life. I was at a point in my life where I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do with myelf. I was feeling unhappy, unsure, doubtful, & felt empty.

Despite all of my accomplishments like my great career, having a loving husband, a beautiful home, and a loving family I still felt that something was missing but I wasn’t sure what it was. I went there not knowing what to expect but hoping that this retreat that promoted itself as “spiritual cleansing and healing for the soul” would provide me with whatever it was that I was lacking in my life. 

I kept an open mind and an open heart and when I arrived, what awaited me was a room full of women who each had the same thought “It’s time for me to take care of me”. There were about 12-14 women who all had a desire to reclaim themselves. I had no idea how lost I was until this Visiones retreat that was being facilitated by Gloria M. Rodriguez, founder of De Almas Women’s Collective.

The De Almas Women’s Collective, is an organization whose mission is to promote the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual transformation of women through individual and group activities designed to strengthen and build capacity for healing and self-actualization. Its vision is to establish sacred and supportive community for self-awareness, empowerment, spiritual development and emotional healing. 

DeAlmas utilizes a feminine centered model for empowerment and esteem work, and facilitates women in becoming more self-loving, authentic, powerful and peaceful in relationship with themselves. The founding of DeAlmas fulfills a spiritual and passionate purpose to provide/invite women to reclaim and trust our feminine gifts, thrive, celebrate and create new facility to live more authentic and full lives.  Our divine mission encourages individual transformation as the foundation for social change.

At the retreat I found myself again. With the amazing facilitation of Gloria Rodriguez and through meditation, self-reflection, and self-work I was able to tap back into my spirit and nourish it with what it was missing. LOVE. Somewhere along my journey through life I stopped loving myself like I should have. I realized that I had spent so much time trying to please others that I was neglecting myself and my own true desires and dreams. The De Almas Visiones retreat helped me to realign myself with my heart’s deepest desires.

Now 6 months into the new year I am at a better place with myself than I’ve ever been. I am LOVE. I give LOVE. And because of this the universe returns LOVE to me. My life has changed significantly since that day in January. I am more at peace with myself. I wake up each morning with an attitude of gratitude. My Visioneras sisters help keep me focused on my intentions/desires and support me whenever I need it. I have never experienced such genuine love and support from women that I haven’t known very long.

Building strong relationships with women is so important especially in a society that is constantly trying to pit us against each other. There is nothing wrong with supporting another woman. If one of us is successful then we can all be successful.

Through De Almas I have learned to be more patient, more trusting and more faithful. My outlook on life is different. Open yourself up to your desires and truly visualize them and they will manifest into your life. I have experienced it which is why I am now a believer.

To all of the women that read my blog I am offering you a gift. On Saturday June 25th I invite you all to embrace your inner goddess by joining me at the 2nd Annual Goddess Festival in Central Park in NYC.

Don’t miss this soul filled event, gathering with other Daughters of the Divine Feminine in celebrating our wholeness, creativity,soul expression, body sensuality, and connection with mother nature. It is sure to be an amazing afternoon of sisterhood.

PLEASE JOIN US in celebrating ourselves.

Our gathering will include:

Belly dancing, healing circle, goddess creations, food & fun, SheSpeaks poetry, singing, testimonials, walking meditation to a waterfall,Tribute/Honoring water, Flower ritual, Emboddied affirmations, networking.

**Female children welcome. There will be children’s workshops facilitated by skilled childcare workers.***

BRING blankets, chairs, Food/Drinks to share, and a bright colored scarf.

You MUST RSVP to this event @ Dealmasinfo@gmail.com
(Please indicate # of children and adults attending)

For more info on Dealmas Women’s Collective check out the website www.dealmas.org or their Facebook Page www.facebook.com/dealmas

The Beauty of Sisterhood

Last night I had the oportunity to spend the evening with a beautiful woman. Not only is she physically beautiful but she is spiritually beautiful. For me she is the embodiment of love and I told her so. From the moment that I met her I felt a connection to her. A pure and genuine connection that can only be felt and not described. But if I had to describe I would say that it is the connection that you feel when you know that you were meant to know this person. 

We spent the evening talking, laughing, sharing stories of our past and sharing the dreams and hopes that we have for our futures. For me it was a spiritually touching experience because I’m at a point in my life where I am truly starting to appreciate the bond that women share. This year I have met some amazing women and have formed bonds with a few (she is one of them) that have surprised me because I haven’t known them long. But what I’ve learned is that when the love and appreciation is genuine those bonds don’t take long to form.

I intentionally surround myself with strong, positive, supportive women because I think that we need more of that. In a world and society where women are pitted against each other and forced to believe that everything is a competition I actively and purposely stay away from that way of thinking. I think we as women have so much more to offer to each other and to the world when we can unite and work together. I am on a journey of spiritual growth. I want to be a better person. I want to give to the world the best of me and so I don’t have time for the cattiness and negativity that some people love to embrace.

To all of my fellow women I say this, when you finally learn to love and care for yourself and nurture your desires and dreams that is when you release all negativity, jealousy, and hatred for another woman. When you are happy you have no time to focus on negativity.

I will continue to work on myself and work on building longlasting relationships with women for they are reflections of me and together we can all be great!

A letter to my sister…

Sisters. They’re bratty, clingy, nosey, and sometimes just plain old evil. They look up to you, imitate you, tease you, support you, help you, and console you when your first love dumps you. They’re catty, selfish, and spiteful but for all the things they are the most important of them is that no matter how bad things seem they will always love you. The bond between sisters is one of those rare anomalies that you can never understand unless you have a sister of your own.

The relationship that I have with my sister is one that I treasure. I always say that having a sister was God’s way of giving me a best friend for life. When you’re kids trying to find your way in the world, you don’t realize that the little brat you tried so hard to avoid somehow became the love of your life. They say you are only blessed with one true love in life, if you’re lucky, maybe two.  For me, my first true love was Diana.

December 30, 1979. The day my life was forever changed. With your first breath you breathed life into my world. I didn’t know it then but without you, living would be a sunless beach, a flower without scent, eyes that cannot see, a heart that doesn’t beat, hands that cannot touch or lips that cannot speak.

Inseparable since the day you were born we have grown to be more than just sisters. My one and only true love, confidante, and soul mate you are the definition of my existence. You are beauty, strength, wisdom, kindness, loyalty. You are unconditional love… You are my mirror reflecting all that I am and all that I still hope to be. You are my every dream come true. Not even Van Gogh could paint a more beautiful scene.

From childhood to womanhood you are the one constant that has never failed me. Because if I know anything it’s that you’re always on my side. If my heart stopped beating I would still live on for the heart that beats in you beats in me too. This is how strong our love is. You are my sister, you are my best friend.

Never Regrets, Just Lessons Learned!

I have always lived by that statement; mostly because every situation, whether good or bad, serves as a teacher in the school of life. I’m sure that most of us have done things in our past, which in hindsight, probably wish we could go back and change. However, it is the collection of all our experiences that make us who we are. It is also those experiences that guide the direction of our lives.

Whenever a poor decision or choice is made some individuals often times do not want to take responsibility for their actions so instead they put the blame on others. This leads to a constant state of self-pity where they believe that the world and everything in it has conspired in their misery. But in reality until one recognizes the part they play in shaping one’s life the lesson will never be learned. One will never grow if they’re always feeling sorry for themselves and wondering how different their lives would have been if they had made a different choice.

I often hear people talk about their regrets and I always find myself thinking, “Why regret something that at one point in time you wanted to do”? True, some of the things that we do may not be in our best interest and even at times harmful but if it was what you wanted to do at the time how can you regret it? Instead of dwelling on the outcome of that poor decision take a proactive approach to correcting the poor decision. Pull yourself up by the bootstraps and decide to move forward instead of living in the past.

In my opinion, people should give in to their desires more often, for they would probably be happier and more successful. Some never do the things that they really want to do and then live with regrets. I’d rather regret the things that I’ve done than regret the things that I haven’t done. Life is short so if there’s something that you want to do, do it. If it turns out to be a bad decision don’t look at it as regret, look at it as a lesson learned.

Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

 

Bad Habits: We all have them

We all have habits that are not good or down right unhealthy for us. Some habits have become so bad that they can actually be called addiction, there’s smoking, alcoholism, drug abuse, etc. We all have seen or know someone that has battled or is battling these addictions. However, some bad habits may not be as serious as the aforementioned but nonetheless can still be harmful to our well being.

A bad habit can involve the way we dress, act, think, shop,talk, relate to people, even how we act in relationships. Not too many people pay much attention to how they act in relationships but if you’re not aware of your actions you can fall into creating bad habits that are unhealthy for you and the relationship. A bad habit grows like the fastest weed and can become a chain reaction if we don’t nip it in the bud.

Those sneaky negative behavior patterns that insinuate their way into our lives, seemingly behind our backs, are like those pesky ‘mogwai’ creatures in the movie Gremlins. Remember them? Ever so cute to start with, but break the handling rules and they’ll run amok in your life. And it feels like there’s nothing you can do about it.

The same can be said of how we act in relationships. Constantly bickering or intentionally saying things to your partner that you know will upset them just to get a reaction out of them, while at first may seem cute and innocent and in your eyes merely a “test” to see if they really care, can eventually become the catalyst to the end of the relationship. Or constantly breaking up just to see how far your partner will go to get you back after awhile can and will become emotionally and mentally exhausting. This is not healthy. Some individuals are so accustomed to drama in their relationships that even when there isn’t any subconsciously create it. This is a bad habit.

Going back to a relationship that you know is dysfunctional and not good for you is also a bad habit. Chaos and dysfunction are not part of a healthy relationship and you have to be able to remove yourself from those types of relationships. That’s why being conscious of your behaviours is a necessary first step. You can’t get rid of your bad habits if you don’t know that you have them– it’s not enough, in real life, to destroy them.

The difficulty you encounter when you first try to break bad habits is that habits (like the mogwai/gremlins) just don’t respond to orders. You summon your willpower, you tell yourself firmly not to do it, and even feel sure you won’t do it…and then you find that you’ve done it again, anyway. It seems you just can’t win a straight out battle with habits. And many people give up at that point and say “I just can’t help it!” But the reality is that the strength of the human will and spirit can conquer anything. You just have to want it bad enough.

In relationships just as in life success comes to those who work at it. If there is something that you are or aren’t doing only you can change it. If you find yourself in a relationship that is constantly making you feel like enough is enough then it probably is. Relationships are not easy, they do require work  BUT both individuals should be giving the same amount of themselves to make it work. Relationships that are 60/40, 70/30, 80/20 will never succeed. Remember that!

The Dawn of a New Day

Happy New Year my loyal readers.  I hope you all had a happy and prosperous holiday season.

It is the 4th day into 2011 and I feel amazing. 2010 was a great year for me personally and professionally. I accomplished many of the things that I set out to do and was pleased with how it ended.

As you may have noticed the appearance of the blog has changed. I wanted to shake things up a little and give the site a new feel by giving it a new look (what do you guys think?)

Along with the look, some of the content will also be changing. Not too drastically because I am aware that too many changes all at once can sometimes be a bad thing. However, one of the changes I am making is a good one. I  will be starting a weekly series called “Spotlight Latino” where I will post a blog every Wednesday featuring issues/topics about the Latino community.

This weekly post will  focus on anything from Latino history to Latino writers, musicians, artists, politicians, businessess, activists, or individuals that are or have contributed to or have positively impacted our culture. It will also focus on individuals that are doing things in their local communities. This will be a collaborative initiative, meaning that if you know or hear of a latino/a doing big things shoot me an email so that I can profile them. There are many Latinos who are doing great things and this series is my way of applauding and acknowledging them. 

Personally, I ended 2010 with a great feeling of accomplishment. For this new year, I have another set of goals set for myself and I am eager to get started working on them. The first of which was re-vamping the blog. I also want to spend a lot more time writing because the more you write the better you become. I have many other goals that I won’t list here but I am preparing myself mentally on how best to achieve them. Ideas are great but if you have no plan they become pointless.

For most of us, it is easy at the start of a new year to make resolutions of all the things that we want to do. However, even those with the best intentions of accomplishing their goals sometimes get sidetracked. I have fallen victim to that on occasion. There are a few things that I’ve learned to help keep me on track when working towards my goals and I want to share them with you.

First, write down all of your goals for the year. Take an hour of your day lock yourself in your home office, your bedroom, the bathroom (if you have to) and make a list of the things that you want to do. They can be small goals like cleaning the house, meditating, going to the gym or they can be bigger goals like taking a vacation, starting a new project or business, or making a career move. Whatever they may be the important thing is that you write them down. You have to be able to visualize it in order to make it a reality.

Secondly, once you have written your goals,  list them from easiest to accomplish to most difficult. Doing this will help you set realistic time frames for each thing that you want to do. If one of your goals is to clean/re-organize your house, this is fairly easy when compared to starting a new business.

After you have listed your goals from easiest to most difficult, decide on a start and completion date for each. If you set dates, you give yourself adequate time to focus, plan and accomplish your goals one at a time.

Most people make tons of resolutions and set many goals for themselves and then try to do them all at once. When you put that much pressure on yourself you don’t give yourself the appropriate time and commitment necessary to accomplish each individual goal. This leads to either mediocre results  or not completing the goal at all.

I have found that establishing timeframes helps to keep you on track. If you make a conscious commitment to achieving your goals you will see that you will stick to the dates you have set for yourself.

If you follow these basic steps by this time next year you just may be a successful entrepreneur. You just need a vision, a plan, focus, and commitment.

In 2011 make  your dreams your reality. It’s the dawn of a new day!

Live Life & Be Happy!

Sometimes in life we convince ourselves that things will be better once we are married, have a baby, or own our own home. Then we get frustrated because our children are not old enough, and that all will be well once they get older. We then become frustrated because they reach adolescence and with teenagers you get an entirely new set of problems.  So we tell ourselves that we’ll be happier when they grow out of the teen years. I’m not a parent but I was a teenager and I know how much hell I caused my parents. It’s not easy raising kids.

We also tell ourselves that our life will be better when our spouse gets his/her act together, when we have a nicer car, when we can take a vacation, or when we finally retire. The truth is that there is no better time to be happy than right now.

Your life will always be full of challenges. It is better to admit as much and to decide to be happy in spite of it all. For the longest time, it seemed that life was about to start. Real life.

But there was always some obstacle along the way, an ordeal to get through, some work to be finished, some time to be given, a bill to be paid. Then life would start. I finally came to understand that those obstacles were life.

That point of view helped me see that there isn’t any road to happiness. Happiness IS the road.So, enjoy every moment.

Stop waiting for school to end, for a return to school, to lose ten pounds, to gain ten pounds, for work to begin, to get married, for Friday evening, for Sunday morning, waiting for a new car, for your mortgage to be paid off, for spring, for summer, for fall, for winter, for the first or the fifteenth of the month, for your song to be played on the radio, to die, to be reborn… before deciding to be happy.

Happiness is a voyage, not a destination.

There is no better time to be happy than… NOW!

Live and enjoy the moment.

Leaving Legacies: What Will Yours Be?

I originally wrote this piece back in November but I am re-posting because God keeps sending people into my life that continue to inspire me. I truly believe that timing is everything and this definitely feels like it’s gonna be my time! I am ready to leave my legacy!

                                                  ***

I like to think  of myself as a go-getter. I’m passionate, smart, and when I truly believe in something I go hard for it. I’ve always felt in my heart that I was put on this earth to do “something special” and not until recently did that “something special” become very clear to me.

Life has a funny way of putting things in your path that you may not have seen or thought of before or maybe it really just is God fulfilling your already written prophecy. Either way, I recently met someone who has made me start thinking differently about what I want my legacy to be. I know I’m probably too young to even begin thinking about a “legacy” but the thing about leaving legacies is that all of the things that you do on a daily basis is how people will remember you. I want people to remember me as someone who made a difference.

My new friend approached me with a great idea of giving back to our community by bringing awareness to an issue that hit close to home, especially as a NYC born and bred latina. I’m not really sure what prompted her to approach me, but like I said sometimes some things are just meant to be and God just waits for the perfect time to allow them to happen.

A recent study, Latino Youth in NYC, was published by the Community Service Society (CSS) in which they identified Latino youth, more specifically, Puerto Ricans, as being the most uneducated and disconnected from the workforce despite being native born New Yorkers. 

After reading the study I really wanted to be a part of what she wanted to do. I will not get into specifics about our plan until we have all of the details finalized but helping our people, especially kids, is something that really resonated with me. I now know that this is my “something special”.  I  will focus on helping young people achieve their dreams, whatever they may be.

I was lucky in that I had a great family support system. I had great teachers. I had people in my life that really wanted me to succeed. I think that today’s youth are missing some or all of these elements in their lives and it isn’t fair. More frequently than ever, you hear about federal and state governments cutting education budgets. Teachers don’t get the support or resources that they need and all at the cost of our children. The more I think about it the more passionate I become.

I am excited about the new endeavor and journey I am now on and I know that the sky is the limit and that we will PREVAIL. I am committed to making a difference because as I said in my FB status this morning “Change begins with one person having the courage to actually do something. Never under estimate the power that YOU have.” 

I will leave you with 2 quotes from one of my favorite books, The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho:

“In order to find the treasure, you will have to follow the omens. God has prepared a path for everyone to follow. You just have to read the omens that he left you.”

“And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”

How do you want to be remembered? What will your legacy be?

 

Lazar Treschan, Policy Brief Latino Youth in New York City (Community Service Society, October 2010) (http://www.cssny.org/userimages/downloads/LatinoYouthinNYCOct2010.pdf)