Category Archives: Inspirational

Learning to be grateful…

Today I am reflecting on all of the new connections that I have made in the past year. Building relationships with encouraging and supportive women is so important. I have been blessed with an amazing network of sisters that ranges from my fellow Visioneras to my childhood friends to those who share my love for creativity and the written word. In short, today I am feeling grateful.

Grateful for all of the women in my life and for all of the blessings that have been bestowed upon me. Sometimes we get so caught up in life and in our daily routines that we forget to step back and just appreciate ourselves, our lives, and the people in it. We often lose focus on what we have because we are too busy worrying about what we don’t have. We have to quit looking at what’s wrong in our lives and start being grateful for what’s right without losing sight of self-improvement.

I would like to share the following passage with you:

“Everything may not be perfect in your life, but if you don’t learn to be happy where you are, you will never get to where you want to be. Do you get up every morning passionate about your dreams? Are you grateful for the home in which you live? We must learn to be happy right where we are. Sometimes we lose our enthusiasm because we let what was once a miracle become too common for us. We get used to it and it becomes routine. We need to go back and remember how God, spirit, and our higher being have brought us to where we are. We need to fan our flame. We need to set our minds and keep it set to higher things.” -Joel Osteen

I believe the higher things are the positive things, so first thing every day, we must set our minds in the right direction. Set our minds for success and victory. Set in our minds that we are going to enjoy this day. Then rise higher and just do it.

Remember, that you have seeds of greatness in you. You weren’t made to be stagnant; rise out of complacency; keep growing, keep reaching for new heights.

Your best days are still out in front of you. As you keep stretching to the next level, improving your life, and reaching for your highest potential, you will not only give birth to your dreams, but you will become a better you, better than you ever dreamed possible.

Fall in Love With You…

“i found god in myself and i loved her. i loved her fiercely.”  - Ntozake Shange

Most of us spend a great deal of our lives looking for love, chasing love, recuperating from love or complaining about love. Never realizing that in our quest for love we are neglecting the person that matters most.  Ourselves.

I believe that as women we often disregard our own needs as a result of always taking care of other people. We spend so much time seeking out and working on developing external relationships that we often times forget to work on the relationship within.  We give so much of ourselves emotionally, physically, and spiritually that  eventually we end up depleted seeking fulfillment from someone else.

However, we can not look to another to fulfill us, “to complete us”, as eloquently stated in Jerry Maguire. We can only seek to fulfill ourselves, to give to ourselves that which we freely give to others; others, who often times don’t deserve it and that is LOVE.  Learn to fall in love with YOU!

Love yourself! Deeply and profoundly! Know that the most important relationship that you could ever have is the relationship that you have with yourself. When that relationship is strong you will see that you will be happier, healthier, and that you will no longer put up with or accept mediocrity from anyone.

Walk in your divine self. You are love, made from love and made to be loved. By loving yourself you teach others how to love you.  Love is not something that comes from someone else; it is an extension of our own minds, reverberating back to us in what seems to be another person’s smile (Williamson, 1993).

When you learn to truly fall in love with you, your entire life begins to change. It changes because when you are in love your main priority is making the person you’re in love with happy. Imagine applying that concept to yourself. Imagine putting your own happiness first. Only you have the power to do this. When you take back your power you take back control of your happiness because you now realize that happiness comes from within. Any happiness that you find with someone else is in addition to the happiness that you already have.

There is no other person on the Universe that can complete you. You were born a “whole” individual, you were not born in pieces. Movies and music will have you believe that in order to be completely happy you need someone else. This is a fallacy. When you allow yourself to believe this you are saying to the other person “I can only be happy if I am with you”…This sort of thinking is the thinking that allows many to stay in hurtful, dysfunctional, abusive relationships because the individual believes that they can only be happy with this abuser. Here’s a reality check if it hurts chances are you aren’t happy. Therefore why stay in a hurtful situation?

I am aware that until we get to the point where  we’ve had enough of things that hurt and long more than anything for a peaceful love, we are bound to take painful roads. We are destined to play out frivolous disasters until we declare ourselves finished and done with them (Williamson, 1993). This is the nature of life but wehen you truly love yourself you will put up with far less nonsense and get out of that unhealthy relationship much sooner.

The following passage I read somewhere and post here for all of you. It reminds me of the power that I have when I choose to take control of my thoughts and feelings.

“You can completely transform any relationship, no matter what it’s like right now.

Every single relationship you have is a reflection of how you feel inside about you. You are a magnet attracting to you all things, via the signal you are emitting through your thoughts and feelings.

Every relationship you have and every interaction with every person, is a reflection of your own thoughts and feelings in that very moment.

To transform every single relationship you have in your life:

Fall in love with YOU!

Make lists of hundreds and hundreds of wonderful things about you.

Keep adding to it every day.

Know that you are perfect. Do not think any negative thoughts about you.

Know that you are worthy and deserving of anything and everything you could possibly want in your life.

Focus on the wonderful things in every person.

Look for only those things.

Do not blame or criticize anybody, ever.
Set an intention that you are going to see the best in everything and everyone.
Make your happiness the number one thing in your life. Happiness is an inside job.

Free yourself of the responsibility of trying to make other people happy.

Respect and love them enough to allow them to take care of their own happiness.
Get your attention off those things in others that don’t make you feel good.

Appreciate and love yourself in every moment you can.

Do not expect others to behave in a way you want, so you will be happy.

Release yourself forevermore and know that you alone control your happiness and it is a choice, no matter what anyone else is doing. Love and respect yourself completely. Know that you are perfect right now.

Forgiveness

We attach our feelings to the moment when we were hurt, endowing it with immortality. And we let it assault us every time it comes to mind. It travels with us, sleeps with us, hovers over us while we make love, and broods over us while we die. Our hate does not even have the decency to die when those we hate die–for it is a parasite sucking OUR blood, not theirs. There is only one remedy for it. Forgiveness.-Lewis B. Smedes 
 
  
Today the word that I am meditating on is FORGIVENESS. It is the first word to come into my mind and so I am paying attention to it. I know that in order to continue growing and to continue healing, we must forgive ourselves and forgive all those who have hurt us.
 
We must forgive if we want to free ourselves of the pain of our past and heal our wounds.  Forgiveness means that you have made the decision to stop being angry at someone. Forgiveness allows us to move forward so that we can live happy, healthy, and productive lives; moving forward means letting go. You can’t move forward when you have chains and shackles holding you back.
 
Forgiving is never easy, but it is necessary for our healing and growth. Healing may not be so much about getting better, as about letting go of everything that doesn’t serve us – all of the expectations, all of the beliefs – and becoming who we are destined to be.
 
Letting go of anger and forgiveness are one and the same. The reason we don’t forgive is because we are angry and we are taking something personally. We believe someone deliberately did something to us and that we are a victim. The truth is, that people only hurt others because they are acting out their own inner wounding. Much of which occurred when they were children. As adults, we carry those wounds with us because we have never forgiven all those in our past that have hurt us.
 
Today, forgive yourself for doing all of the things that dishonored who God intended you to be. Forgive yourself for not living up to your fullest potential. Forgive yourself for hurting and disappointing those that you love, including yourself. Forgive yourself for allowing feelings of unworthiness to blind you of your true worth. Forgive yourself for ever doubting that you are great.
 
Forgive yourself for allowing others to disrupt your peace. Forgive those who you let into your life that were only a part of it to take from you and never to give. Forgive yourself for allowing them to use you. Forgive yourself for loving people who were never worthy of your love and forgive yourself for not loving those that were.
 
Forgive yourself for searching for someone to make you happy when all the while happiness resided within. Forgive yourself for not loving yourself enough to know that you deserved better. Forgive all those who have ever wished you harm or unhappiness. Forgive yourself for buying into others’ negative opinions of you. Forgive yourself for believing that you always had to be perfect when all you ever had to be was yourself.
 
Today the word that I am meditating on is FORGIVENESS. I practice forgiveness because it is essential for my spiritual and emotional well being. You should too!

Effectively Working with Affirmations

I found this great article by Katheryn Hoban and wanted to share it with my readers. Enjoy!

***

In my years of teaching and counseling I have come to the conclusion that many people are unsure of what affirmations are, how to use them, what great tools they can be, or what good benefits can be manifested by working with affirmations in both children and adults. In the simplest form an affirmation is a statement of a positive effect, result, or of a future event that you would like to achieve. Usually an affirmation is stated in the present moment and in positive verbiage and wordage. For an example “ I can do this” as opposed to “I’d like to do this” or “I’m going to do this.” The sentence “ I can do this” is set in the present moment and it implies confidence in one’s ability to accomplish the task and an immediacy to take action. The statement “ I’d like to do this.” Implies that it is not quite possible but you are yearning to do it but (something out of your control) is preventing that. “I’m going to do this” implies sometime in the future when all the conditions are right. In that case we can make an assumption that the conditions will never be right.

To effectively work and create affirmations for yourself or child it is better to create patterns of repetition in saying the phrase out loud many times per day if need be, or weekly and using a creative visualization technique to anchor the effects of the affirmation in your mind and your body. For an example if you wish to give up smoking. The best way to phrase the affirmation would be “I’m smoke free.” “I enjoy being smoke free.” “ I enjoy being a non-smoker.”
In these examples you would repeat the affirmations and design a creative visualization (of events in the future but seen in present moment time) of you being a fulfilled non-smoker. You could imagine yourself doing an activity and feeling free and joyful that you are without a cigarette. You could imagine that you are visiting with children who previously were reluctant to spend time with you because of your smoking and how much you enjoy that visit. You could imagine that you feel the breath in your lungs very different and that you can actually breathe freely.

In working with children, repetition is a key. You can make it into a game of movement and imagination that children love. The affirmations can be repeated together and new images or visualizations can be incorporated into the game. For instance, I use an affirmation with children that is very powerful and fun and it creates a strong visual image for them. “I stomp out sickness.” When we are in a circle we stomp our feet on the ground and pretend that we are stomping sickness into the earth. They enjoy games and imagery like this immensely and it creates effective anchors.

For adults too the same sort of movement can be used to create an anchor. You interrupt a pattern of stagnation with the new movement. For instance, if you threw your arms up into the air and then out in front of you in a big sweeping gesture, and then said an affirmation such as “I’m free!” “Big pathways are opening up for me!!” You would immediately feel the vibrancy and the expansion of that affirmation. An anchor of thought and the physical action would then be created in your mind. Every time that you said that affirmation, and did that gesture of the big sweeping arm movements a thought of freedom and lightness would be interpreted into your brain. You would begin to feel the joy associated with that movement and those words.

On repeating the affirmations, a new pattern of hope, expectancy and action would be created for future moments to unfold. Of course you don’t have to make a big physical gesture to interrupt the pattern of thought. However when you can add physical movements, gestures or sounds, the affirmation becomes more effective and can promote a transformation more quickly. If you can picture in your mind the thing that you want to achieve, as if it is already done, and you are feeling wonderful about receiving it, that combined with the affirmation is a very effective tool of change.

Let’s look at some affirmations. “I’m easily and effortlessly attracting the right business contacts to promote my work.” If you imagined in your mind; the smiles, the handshakes and the business meeting going very well and the ultimate picture of you receiving the benefits of new business and the achieving the results that you want and need every time that you said that affirmation, you begin to attract what you are confirming to the universe.

“I am fearless.” If you said this out loud it would be very effective to raise your voice and emphasis the word fearless. If you raised your hand in a strong gesture it further anchors the strength and courage that you feel in your body. The visual image that may go along with “I am fearless,” could be seeing yourself confronting a strong adversary and you looking right into his or her eyes and feeling in your heart that you are too strong to cower, and that you are planted firmly to the Earth.

“I can do this easily and effortlessly.” Imagine yourself in the zone so to speak where you barely make any effort at all and everything falls into place. Feel in your body and heart, how joyful, casual and confident you are about everything coming quickly together for you. Use an example in your past successes when something came together just as easily and remember how happy and light you felt when it did.

“I am the perfect weight for me.” Instead of focusing on how much weight you wish to lose, which implies that you are not perfect as you are, focus on how it would feel to fit into the size jeans that you always wanted to fit into. Also focus on how good it would feel in your slim clothing and seeing yourself in the mirror at the weight that your body looks absolutely fabulous in. See yourself very energized with your newly trim fit body, and how then you would act, walk, run, play and enjoy yourself.

Affirmations are best spoken out loud; the vibrations of the spoken positive expression are impactful to your psyche or a child’s. They are also best repeated until a new pattern is created. Create your own affirmations, or read from a book of affirmations, or listen to affirmations on tapes or CD’s. Keep revisiting these affirmations daily. Affirmations build confidence, help you to overcome low self-esteem, create balance, and space, helps you to get past feelings of guilt, and condemnation, clears obstacles, or limitations, create new patterns of health and well-being, and may produce feelings of prosperity and abundance. Of course Affirmations are not a cure-all, but they are very powerful and effective tools for you and your child to transform a challenging area in life. Every time that you say an affirmation with conviction you are creating a new unfolding moment to engage in a new fulfilled, balance, healthy, or abundant way of being.
_______________________
Katheryn Hoban is a certified yoga teacher and Reiki Master teacher with 10 years of experience. She has created two CD on affirmations. (Affirmations for Children and Teens and Affirmations for Adults.)
She can be reached at PO Box 7564 North Bergen, NJ 07047 or e-mail katscoolcorner@yahoo.com. You can purchase each CD for $10 + 2.00 shipping and handling or with paypal.
Wholesale prices are also available for a minimum purchase of 10 CD’s @$4.00 per CD plus $1.00 shipping ($50.00). Paypal is also an acceptable form of payment.

Happy New Year

I can’t believe it’s a new year. 2011 seemed to go by so quickly.  So much has happened since my last blog post and I apologize that I haven’t posted anything since September. Shame on me. I am back and I am committed to posting at least one new blog a week. I will try to get back to my daily posting, but I’m so busy lately that it may be a little challenging.

First, let me start by telling you what I’ve been doing these past 3 months. As many of you know, in my last blog I was preparing for my first book release. The turnout was amazing. The room was full of love, positive energy, and individuals who all took time out of their day to support me. It’s amazing how when you set out to do something great the Universe somehow provides you with exactly what you need at that time. Needless to say I sold a lot of books and was able to re-connect with people that I haven’t seen in years. It was a truly memorable night.

During that same time, I also started a new job as the Associate Director of Operations of one of NYC’s public hospitals. Trying to adjust to a new position takes some time, but I’m finally starting to get into the swing of things. Additionally, I am slated to begin my first semester in the MFA in Creative Writing program that I was accepted into.  The New York City Latinas Writer’s Group workshops will also begin this month with me as one of the facilitators. There are so many good things in store for me this year and I am ready for whatever the Universe has to offer.

As we all embrace the new year let’s do so knowing that we are capable of doing anything that we set our minds to. Be great in all that you do and you will create greatness. Expand your mind, open your heart, and grab 2012 by the horns and run with it. Make this year YOUR year.

For more info on the New York City Latina’s Writers Group visit our FB page http://www.facebook.com/?ref=tn_tnmn#!/groups/81895133392/

The Waters Within

My parched lips search for
the sweetness of steady waters
I search for the endless
rhythm of the ocean
so that I may bathe myself in
velvet hopes of new beginnings.
My heart tugs strings weaving back
together the strands of my soul
Intricate tapestry folds peeking through
the veil of my truth that reminds me
of the beauty that lies within.

Once dried up inside,
baptize me so that I may be reborn
an oasis rising from a sandy wasteland
created to quench the thirst of 1 million skies.
Cleanse me with daily gratitude,
trust, patience, fruitfulness, and love.

For your rippled waves
have awakened dormant dreams
that once flowed through me
like the great Nile River.
Through parted waters
and into the desert of infancy
I found myself again.
I valued myself again
I loved myself again.

And when the tides change
Because they always do,
I will take shelter in the land of Me.
For I have now found my voice.
I have now found my light.
I have now found my strength.
I am caught in a spiritual current.
I am now transformed.

 

Poem: Gibraltar

Night out with the girls I just wanted to have fun
Never looking for what I found
But I reeled you in
With my
flirty talk
My sexy walk
yea you was
kinda nice …
tall, dark, handsome
combined with the perfect
mix of thug & intellect
Just my type of guy
offered me a ride home
cuz I was about 5 drinks passed drunk
Yet sober enough to know
that heaven had manifested
itself in you
Fast forward
1 year later
On bended knee
outside Baruch
You asked &
I said yes
never knowing the lessons
in love & life you would eventually teach me
Really living our vows
like in sickness & in health
Impregnating me with hope
when that cancer crept up
though never giving up
knowing u were way
too young to die
So instead,
you schooled me like teacher
& showed me what a real fighter was
10 years later
You’re still the champion
Pillared columns tall
Herculean strong
We are GIBRALTAR
rock hard steady
Cuz can’t nobody hold you down baby,
like you hold me when shit gets real
Loving me
Like song
Like verse
Like lyric
Like note
Like…
Losing my religion
Loving me
Like bible
Like Koran
Like Jesus
Like Allah
Like Islamic radical
Loving me
Like salvation
Like a breath of fresh air
Like light
Like brand new
Loving me…
when I couldn’t
even love myself
But you did
Because
you took your time
to study me
even when I was
CPA exam difficult,
like acquisitions and mergers
Realizing that you didn’t
want to conquer me
but instead stand side by side
like the number 11 with me
Shine like the sun in August with me
Walk on the beach
Make mental love on
another plane with me
Take over the world and
travel the road less taken with me.
And all along always showing me that
THIS is how love is supposed to be. 
 

©2011 All Rights Reserved Nancy Arroyo Ruffin

La Grifa~

Me llaman la grifa~

niña linda,

pelo malo~

because

it wouldn’t obey

untamable beast

told to relax

as the lie (lye) concoction

burned the kink out of my hair

erasing temporarily the part

of me that I hated the most.

Genetically made up to be wild

not to be tamed

or managed

or straightened

or subdued

or laid flatly with

no body or bounce

No…that

could never be me.

For …

I am too relentless

to conform

to transform

to be altered

into something

that I wasn’t really destined

to be.

 

Originally published 4/04/11 in honor of National Poetry Month

Embrace Your Inner Goddess

In January of this year in the home of a friend (who I originally met on Facebook, yes Facebook) I attended a spiritual retreat that absolutely changed the direction of my life. I was at a point in my life where I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do with myelf. I was feeling unhappy, unsure, doubtful, & felt empty.

Despite all of my accomplishments like my great career, having a loving husband, a beautiful home, and a loving family I still felt that something was missing but I wasn’t sure what it was. I went there not knowing what to expect but hoping that this retreat that promoted itself as “spiritual cleansing and healing for the soul” would provide me with whatever it was that I was lacking in my life. 

I kept an open mind and an open heart and when I arrived, what awaited me was a room full of women who each had the same thought “It’s time for me to take care of me”. There were about 12-14 women who all had a desire to reclaim themselves. I had no idea how lost I was until this Visiones retreat that was being facilitated by Gloria M. Rodriguez, founder of De Almas Women’s Collective.

The De Almas Women’s Collective, is an organization whose mission is to promote the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual transformation of women through individual and group activities designed to strengthen and build capacity for healing and self-actualization. Its vision is to establish sacred and supportive community for self-awareness, empowerment, spiritual development and emotional healing. 

DeAlmas utilizes a feminine centered model for empowerment and esteem work, and facilitates women in becoming more self-loving, authentic, powerful and peaceful in relationship with themselves. The founding of DeAlmas fulfills a spiritual and passionate purpose to provide/invite women to reclaim and trust our feminine gifts, thrive, celebrate and create new facility to live more authentic and full lives.  Our divine mission encourages individual transformation as the foundation for social change.

At the retreat I found myself again. With the amazing facilitation of Gloria Rodriguez and through meditation, self-reflection, and self-work I was able to tap back into my spirit and nourish it with what it was missing. LOVE. Somewhere along my journey through life I stopped loving myself like I should have. I realized that I had spent so much time trying to please others that I was neglecting myself and my own true desires and dreams. The De Almas Visiones retreat helped me to realign myself with my heart’s deepest desires.

Now 6 months into the new year I am at a better place with myself than I’ve ever been. I am LOVE. I give LOVE. And because of this the universe returns LOVE to me. My life has changed significantly since that day in January. I am more at peace with myself. I wake up each morning with an attitude of gratitude. My Visioneras sisters help keep me focused on my intentions/desires and support me whenever I need it. I have never experienced such genuine love and support from women that I haven’t known very long.

Building strong relationships with women is so important especially in a society that is constantly trying to pit us against each other. There is nothing wrong with supporting another woman. If one of us is successful then we can all be successful.

Through De Almas I have learned to be more patient, more trusting and more faithful. My outlook on life is different. Open yourself up to your desires and truly visualize them and they will manifest into your life. I have experienced it which is why I am now a believer.

To all of the women that read my blog I am offering you a gift. On Saturday June 25th I invite you all to embrace your inner goddess by joining me at the 2nd Annual Goddess Festival in Central Park in NYC.

Don’t miss this soul filled event, gathering with other Daughters of the Divine Feminine in celebrating our wholeness, creativity,soul expression, body sensuality, and connection with mother nature. It is sure to be an amazing afternoon of sisterhood.

PLEASE JOIN US in celebrating ourselves.

Our gathering will include:

Belly dancing, healing circle, goddess creations, food & fun, SheSpeaks poetry, singing, testimonials, walking meditation to a waterfall,Tribute/Honoring water, Flower ritual, Emboddied affirmations, networking.

**Female children welcome. There will be children’s workshops facilitated by skilled childcare workers.***

BRING blankets, chairs, Food/Drinks to share, and a bright colored scarf.

You MUST RSVP to this event @ Dealmasinfo@gmail.com
(Please indicate # of children and adults attending)

For more info on Dealmas Women’s Collective check out the website www.dealmas.org or their Facebook Page www.facebook.com/dealmas

The Beauty of Sisterhood

Last night I had the oportunity to spend the evening with a beautiful woman. Not only is she physically beautiful but she is spiritually beautiful. For me she is the embodiment of love and I told her so. From the moment that I met her I felt a connection to her. A pure and genuine connection that can only be felt and not described. But if I had to describe I would say that it is the connection that you feel when you know that you were meant to know this person. 

We spent the evening talking, laughing, sharing stories of our past and sharing the dreams and hopes that we have for our futures. For me it was a spiritually touching experience because I’m at a point in my life where I am truly starting to appreciate the bond that women share. This year I have met some amazing women and have formed bonds with a few (she is one of them) that have surprised me because I haven’t known them long. But what I’ve learned is that when the love and appreciation is genuine those bonds don’t take long to form.

I intentionally surround myself with strong, positive, supportive women because I think that we need more of that. In a world and society where women are pitted against each other and forced to believe that everything is a competition I actively and purposely stay away from that way of thinking. I think we as women have so much more to offer to each other and to the world when we can unite and work together. I am on a journey of spiritual growth. I want to be a better person. I want to give to the world the best of me and so I don’t have time for the cattiness and negativity that some people love to embrace.

To all of my fellow women I say this, when you finally learn to love and care for yourself and nurture your desires and dreams that is when you release all negativity, jealousy, and hatred for another woman. When you are happy you have no time to focus on negativity.

I will continue to work on myself and work on building longlasting relationships with women for they are reflections of me and together we can all be great!